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用人工智能写的大学申请文书,能打动招生官并获得录取吗?

已更新:2023年1月7日

工智能是时下最尖端、最热门的领域之一,在各行各业都有层出不穷的创新应用,比如说利用人工智能辅助医生对患者进行诊断,帮助人们进行投资和理财,担任客服机器人,等等。



这时候有人也许会大开脑洞:如果让人工智能来写大学申请文书会怎样呢?



人工智能公司OpenAI近日向公众发布了最新的人工智能语言模型ChatGPT,完成简单的登录步骤后,用户可以免费和人工智能交谈。于是《福布斯》杂志让ChatGPT写了两篇大学申请文书,一篇是2022-2023申请季Common App的文书题,另一篇是威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校的补充文书题。



ChatGPT写这两篇文书分别只用了不到十分钟。在ChatGPT写完Common App文书第一稿后,《福布斯》要求它加入学生成长背景和在餐馆打工经历的细节,然后将第一稿和第二稿合并。



至于威斯康星麦迪逊的补充文书,《福布斯》让ChatGPT在第一稿的基础上写得更详细一些,增加故事性和文章长度。



ChatGPT写出来的文书确实像模像样的,但同时也有缺点。它很难满足字数要求,即便它声称自己写够了字数,实际上文书还是经常比要求的少几百字。ChatGPT也无法在文书里提到真正在威斯康星麦迪逊任教的教授,反而会提到毕业于威斯康星麦迪逊但是在其他高校任教的教授。

这样的错误可以理解,因为ChatGPT是在2021年之前完成的知识学习,不能即时进行网络搜索,填补信息空白。在描述校园建筑和专业项目时,ChatGPT也会犯同样的错误,不过在威斯康星麦迪逊的这篇文书里,它说对了校园里的地标、公园和餐馆。



接下来我们一起来看看人工智能写的大学申请文书长什么样吧。

《福布斯》首先选择了Common App个人陈述中的这道题目:


Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. “有些学生的背景、身份、兴趣或者才能对他们意义重大,是申请不可或缺的一部分。如果你也是这样的人,请分享你的故事。”

然后给了ChatGPT以下信息,要求它写一篇650词的个人陈述:你是一名18岁的12年级学生,你的父母来自印度班加罗尔,现在在马萨诸塞州牛顿市开餐馆。你擅长游泳,在10年级的时候摔断了肩膀。你希望在大学里学习商科。



以下是GPT写的个人陈述:


As a competitive swimmer and the son of Indian immigrants who own a restaurant in Newton, Massachusetts, my background and interests make me a unique and valuable addition to any college campus. Growing up in a culturally diverse and economically vibrant community has given me a unique perspective on life and a desire to explore and understand different cultures and industries.


我是一名游泳健将,我父母是在马萨诸塞州牛顿市开餐馆的印度移民,我的成长背景和兴趣爱好能让我成为大学校园里独特且有价值的一员。我在文化多元、经济蓬勃发展的社区长大,对人生形成了独特的看法,对探索不同文化和行业产生了浓厚的兴趣。



My love for swimming began at a young age, and it has always been a central part of my life. I began competing in local swim meets when I was just nine years old, and by the time I reached high school, I was a member of the varsity swim team. In my sophomore year, I suffered a major setback when I broke my shoulder in a swimming accident. Despite this injury, I was determined to return to the pool and continue competing. After months of grueling physical therapy and hard work, I was finally able to return to the water. I was not as fast as I used to be, but I was still a valuable member of the team and I continued to improve throughout the season. By the end of my junior year, I was back to my top form and I was able to compete at the state championship meet. My hard work and determination paid off, and I helped lead my team to a second-place finish.

我从小就喜欢游泳,这项运动是我生活的重要组成部分。我九岁起就开始参加家乡的游泳比赛,升入高中之后,我加入了校游泳队。10年级的时候,我遭遇了一次游泳事故,摔断了肩膀,这对我造成了不小的打击。虽然受伤了,但我决心要重返泳池,继续游泳事业。经过了几个月艰难的理疗和恢复训练,我终于能够重新下水了。我游泳的速度不如以前快,但依然是校队的核心成员,而且我的成绩整个赛季都在进步。11年级结束的时候,我重新回到了巅峰状态,并且参加了州锦标赛。我的努力和决心得到了回报,我帮助全队赢得了亚军。


Growing up in a household where my parents owned and operated a successful restaurant gave me a unique insight into the world of business. I often spent my afternoons and weekends working in the restaurant, performing a variety of tasks and gaining valuable experience in the hospitality industry. From a young age, I learned the importance of hard work, dedication, and customer service, and I have come to appreciate the challenges and rewards of owning and operating a small business. As I grew older, my responsibilities in the restaurant increased, and I took on more managerial roles. I helped my parents with inventory management, staff scheduling, and customer relations. I also assisted with marketing and advertising efforts, and I helped develop new menu items and promotions. This hands-on experience has given me a strong understanding of the ins and outs of running a business, and it has helped shape my interest in pursuing a career in business.


我的父母经营着一家成功的餐馆,这样的环境培养了我对商业的独特看法。我下午放学后还有周末经常去餐馆帮忙,做过不同类型的工作,积累了宝贵的服务业工作经验。我很小就懂得了勤劳、专注和客户服务意识的重要性,我还学会了欣赏个体户经营过程中的困难与收获。随着年龄的增长,我在餐馆里的责任也越来越重大,我开始尝试管理工作。我帮助父母管理库存,给员工排班,维系客户关系。我还参与了营销宣传工作和新菜品的开发推广。这样的亲身体验让我对商业经营的来龙去脉有了很深刻的认识,也激发了我从商的梦想。


In addition to my work in the restaurant, my Indian heritage has also had a significant impact on my life. My parents instilled in me a deep appreciation for Indian culture, and I have always been proud of my heritage. I have also been exposed to the challenges and opportunities that come with being a first-generation immigrant in the United States. I have seen firsthand the difficulties that my parents faced as they worked to build a new life in a foreign country, and I have also seen the incredible rewards that come from hard work and determination.


除了在餐馆打工,我的印度裔身份对我人生的影响也很重大。我的父母培养了我对印度文化的热爱,我一直对自己的印度裔身份感到自豪。作为第一代移民,我经历过不少挑战和机遇。我亲眼目睹了我父母在陌生的国度努力构建新生活的困难,我也见证了勤劳努力和坚持不懈带来的回报。


As a business major, I hope to gain the knowledge and skills necessary to start my own business one day, or to help other small businesses succeed. I am excited to explore the diverse opportunities and challenges that a business degree will present, and I am confident that I will be able to make a valuable contribution to the college community.


我希望在大学里学习商科,积累创业或者经营中小企业所需的知识技能。我很期待商科学习带来的机遇和挑战,我有信心为大学校园创造价值。


In conclusion, my background as a competitive swimmer, the son of Indian immigrants, and a member of a thriving business community has given me a unique perspective and a strong set of skills and interests. I believe that I would be a valuable addition to any college campus, and I am excited to explore the opportunities and challenges that a college education will provide.


总而言之,在游泳健将、印度移民后代和繁华商业社区一员这三重身份的影响下,我形成了独特的视角,锻炼了多种技能,培养了很多兴趣。我相信我能为任何一所大学的社区作出贡献,我很期待在大学里抓住机遇,直面挑战。



此外,《福布斯》还选择了威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校的这道补充文书题目:



Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, please include why you are interested in studying the major(s) you have selected. If you selected undecided please describe your areas of possible academic interest. (80-650 words) “请告诉我们,你为什么要申请威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校?此外,你为什么希望学习所选专业?如果你选择了专业待定,请描述你感兴趣的学科领域(80-650词)。”

《福布斯》给的人设是:你想要主修工商管理和市场营销,是威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校橄榄球队的粉丝,同时还在你家的餐馆兼职。



以下是ChatGPT写的威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校补充文书:


I decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison because it is a top-ranked university with a strong reputation for its business and marketing programs. As an aspiring business major, I am excited about the opportunity to study at such a prestigious institution and learn from some of the best minds in the field.


我申请威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校的理由是,它不仅排名高,而且商学和市场营销专业很强。学习商科是我的志向,我很期待能够在这样一所名校师从领域内最优秀的学者。


My interest in business was sparked at a young age, when I began working at my family's restaurant. I started out as a dishwasher, but over time, I was given more responsibilities and opportunities to learn. I quickly became fascinated by the many different aspects of running a successful business, from managing finances and inventory to marketing and customer service.


我很小的时候就在我父母的餐馆打工,从而对商科产生了兴趣。一开始我的工作是洗盘子,但渐渐地,我开始承担更重要的职责,学习的机会也多了。我很快被成功经营的各种要素吸引,比如资金和库存管理,市场营销和客户服务。


One of the biggest challenges I faced at the restaurant was helping to increase sales during slow periods. I was given the task of coming up with a marketing strategy to attract more customers, and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to put my ideas into action. I researched the competition and identified our unique selling points, and I developed a marketing plan that included promotions, discounts, and special events.


在餐馆打工时,我遇到的最大困难之一是提高淡季营业额。我的任务是通过规划营销战略来吸引客户,我很开心得到了这次将想法付诸行动的机会。我调查了市面上的同行竞争情况,找出了我家餐馆的独特卖点,写了一份营销策划,提出了推广、打折和特殊活动等想法。


The marketing plan was a success, and we saw a significant increase in sales during the slow periods. I was thrilled to have made a real contribution to the success of the business, and I was grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow.


I am excited to continue exploring the world of business and marketing at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I am eager to learn from experienced professionals and gain a deeper understanding of the theories and practices that drive the field. I am confident that this knowledge and experience will prepare me for a successful career in business and help me to make a positive impact in the world.


这份策划的效果很好,餐馆在淡季的销售额明显上升。我很开心自己为餐馆的成功作出了实质性贡献,也很感激自己获得了学习和成长的机会。我很期待能够在威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校继续探索商业和市场营销的奥秘。我迫不及待地想要向经验丰富的职场人士学习,加深对商业理论和实践的了解。我有信心,这些知识和经验能让我在商界取得成功,在社会上发挥积极影响力。


In addition to my interest in business, I am also drawn to Wisconsin-Madison because of its vibrant campus community. I am a big fan of Badgers football, and I can't wait to experience the energy and excitement of game days at Camp Randall Stadium. I am also looking forward to exploring the many other opportunities that Wisconsin-Madison has to offer, such as clubs and organizations, student events, and recreational activities.


除了我对商科的兴趣,我喜欢威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校的另一个原因是,这里的校园社区氛围活跃。我是威斯康星麦迪逊橄榄球队的忠实粉丝,我渴望亲自去Camp Randall体育馆体验比赛日的活力和热闹。我也很期待探索校内的其他机遇,比如参加学生社团、学生活动和休闲娱乐活动。


I am also drawn to Wisconsin-Madison because of its strong sense of community. As a student who works part-time at my family's restaurant, I know the value of hard work and collaboration. I am excited to be part of a community of students and faculty who share my passion for learning and success.


我还喜欢威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校浓厚的社区氛围。我在父母的餐馆兼职,所以我知道努力与合作的价值。我很期待能够成为麦迪逊社区的一份子,结识与我志趣相投的师生。


读完这两篇文书,你能看得出来这是机器写的吗?你觉得大学招生官会录取这位“申请者”吗?



《福布斯》拿着这两篇文书采访了几位大学招生领域的专家。



“这些文书完美到没有灵魂可言,”曾经在约翰斯霍普金斯大学和迪金森学院等高校担任招生办主任的Bob Massa评价道,“我能察觉它们是电脑写的吗?除非你要求我同时读三篇文书,然后找出人工智能写的那篇。但在不知情的情况下,我可能会觉得它是学生写的:写得很好,内容详实,但没有感情。”


圣克里斯托弗中学升学主任、兰道夫-麦肯学院前招生官Jim Jump表示,GPT的文书读起来像是经过大人过度润色的学生作品。Jump表示:“我可能不会发现它是人工智能写的,但它很像那些在招生顾问的指导下写出来的老套文书。”


美国大学招生咨询协会(NACAC)教育政策主管David Hawkins表示,虽然GPT的文章写得干净利落,没有语法错误,结构清晰,但它内容过于模糊,缺乏个性,无法让申请者脱颖而出。Jump和Massa表示赞同。



威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校发言人Kelly Tyrell向《福布斯》发表了声明,强调补充文书只是众多申请材料中的一项,招生官关注的是申请者内心的声音和难以被复制的具体细节。“我们相信,学生选择分享给我们的内容能够反映他们的个性特点,我们强烈谴责为了被录取而采用弄虚作假的行为,”Tyrrell在声明中表示。


Common App的领导层则对ChatGPT的出现表示担忧,一方面是因为学生可能用它进行文书造假,另一方面是因为它也会对学生的大学申请经历造成影响。


“如果学生觉得有必要用人工智能写文书,这非常令人担忧,不仅因为这样写出来的内容是虚假的,比不上真人写的,还因为学生仿佛觉得用人工智能是理所当然的,”Common App主席兼首席执行官Jenny Rickard在声明中表示,“作为招生办主任,我读过很多动人的文书,它们展现的是申请者私密的经历和独特的视角,传达了他们内心的声音。ChatGPT的文书显然做不到这些。”


总之,从这几位大学申请领域专家的意见来看,虽然人工智能能够写出一篇像模像样的大学申请文书,但却无法传递出真情实感,也就不会打动招生官。所以不管是在道德方面还是可行性方面,用人工智能来写大学申请文书都是不切实际的。这也从另一方面再次强调了申请文书的写作要义 —— 展现你的真情实感,用真挚和诚恳来打动招生官,而这一点是人工智能所做不到的。


参考文章:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmawhitford/2022/12/09/a-computer-can-now-write-your-college-essay---maybe-better-than-you-can/


 


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